I recently listened to the Play And Purpose series at Crossroads Church here in Cincinnati and it has me really reflecting on things. To add to it I feel like Brian Tome‘s The Aggressive Life podcast also hit on very similar subjects. So the past week or so I have had a lot of introspection.

As I look back on my years of working in the church and I can see that I allowed things to get out of balance in my life. I can not change the past but I can definitely learn from it and grow. That has been one of the things I have been trying to do during this time while I am looking for a new position. I am seeing it partly like a sabbatical after working 10 years at The River Church.

It is funny that I used to always wonder how people could take a sabbatical. Most churches had that built-in for their pastors after a period of time usually after 7-10 years, but that was not something we had at The River. Ironically, after these 10 years, I can now see why it is so important. I needed it. This is not necessarily how I would have wanted it to happen but I am taken the opportunity anyway to use this as a sabbatical.

I have been reading, listening to podcasts, and spending some time reflecting in the midst of doing some stuff around the house and also doing some stuff for a friend. And like I said the series from Crossroads has really hit me.

One of the things that Brian Tome pointed out in the first message of the series was the ampersand (&) symbol. He said that it was Play AND Purpose. It is not supposed to be a 50/50 thing, but a 100/100 thing. We should have 100% play and 100% purpose. Much like how Jesus was full of grace and truth (John 1:14). Jesus didn’t have 50% grace and 50% truth. He had 100% of each.

I feel like I pursued 100% purpose (probably much more than that if I am honest) when I worked in the church and that I gave it my all, but I did not do well with giving 100% to play. I think my kids suffered from that in many ways. I felt like I was always too busy helping others or doing things for the church and did not play enough with them.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t believe I ignored them completely but I regret not playing with them more and being too concerned with helping the church more. Moving forward even though I am not an empty nester I plan on finding a better balance and giving 100% to play along with 100% to purpose. It is not just important to me to do this but for my wife and our time together as well.

If you have not watched the series I highly recommend it you can watch the first video below and here is a link to Brian Tome’s The Aggressive Life podcast. It is really good and has reframed my opinion of what it means to be aggressive.