Tonight I had the opportunity to attend Rob Bell’s talk entitled “Everything Is Spiritual”. It was a tour that he did for a month over the summer, across the country. They had planned on filming it, so they could release it in the NOOMA series that he does. And while they were on the tour they video taped one of the talks he did early on in the tour. But as with most things the more you do it the better you get, and I guess there was also an issue with the filming of it, so they decided to do it one last time. And while Kimmy and I were out at Mars Hill a couple of weekend ago we heard that he was going to be doing this. And I turned to Kimmy and told her that I would love to come out here for it, and God made a way for me to do just that.
So I ventured out to Grand Rapids today to listen to it, but I am not out here just for that. I have been feeling really burned out and run down lately. The busyness of life and the suckiness of not being in the career that I have wanted to be in has left me wondering what the heck is going on. Many of you who are regular readers of my blog may know that back in January I had felt that God was telling us to take a break from searching for a job in the ministry. And that we were going to be settling into the church we are attending for the foreseeable future. We had no idea for how long or even what God wanted to do with us during that time. So we obeyed and I actually felt really content just dealing with things with me working for my dad’s company and just volunteering at the church. Life was good and I was really feeling a peace.
Then through a series of events, I started getting that itch back to be in the ministry. There are so many thoughts racing through my mind about it. First, I want to know if it is God that has done that or is it just me? Second, if it is God then what? Does he want me as a pastor to students? A pastor to college age/young adults? An assistant pastor? A (GULP! ) lead pastor? I really don’t know, but I am willing to do whatever it is that he tells me to do. And that is the other reason why I am here in Grand Rapids this weekend. I am taking a day by myself to spend some time praying, reflecting, reading, blogging, etc. I have no real agenda other than to spend time with God and see if I can figure out what the next step is.