Right now, I am at a loss. I am not sure exactly what God is doing and so I am a little confused right now. I have been going through so many emotions and thoughts that I can’t even begin to describe how I am feeling, other than to say I am just working through it all. Back on January 8th, I never thought that I would be in this situation again so soon. But I do know that God is still leading me, I just wish I knew where.
For a while I was seriously questioning whether or not I was even supposed to be in ministry full-time, because the doors always seemed to be closed. Plus, I just didn’t understand why God would have me work in a job that I HATE for the past 12 years. So I was beginning to wonder if I wasted the last 15 years of my life pursuing ministry. But then on Friday, I had the honor of performing the wedding ceremony for two friends and I realized that it IS what I am supposed to be doing.
So for know I am looking into taking some classes at Baker College in “Linux/Unix Systems Technology”, because after looking for a full-time ministry position and not getting one for whatever reason. And then working in a job I HATE for the past 12 years, I figured at least I would see if I can get another job that I will like better in the mean time until God opens that door for me to be in the ministry full-time. And since I love messing around with computers and Linux/Unix Systems are not Microshaft products, I figured I would like that.
So this next year is going to be interesting and I guess I just need to hang on tighter as that roller coaster zooms down those hills and through those loops. Hopefully, when I get off the ride I will look back and realize that it was indeed fun. But for now I am not so sure.